Who Am I?

About me graphic

Well, Hello! I’m Mandi Em- Sweary Writer, Humor Blogger, Hot Mess Mom of 3.


This started off as a health blog based on my all natural postpartum weight loss successes (If you want to read more about that shit check it out here), however I am blogging less about that stuff and if you want to learn why I explain a little more here.

I have 3 kids and lost over 50 lbs after my last 2 pregnancies and wanted to present a more realistic picture about what getting healthy really looks like. My husband and I are also born again hippies and trying to get woke as fuck when it comes to living green and connecting to nature.

As time went on I found that I have passion for writing about all the struggles we have in common trying to be functional adults. So I’d love to give you some cookie cutter nonsense about “what I provide” or whatever but honestly its a mixed bag of grocery store nightmares, tales of reckless anxiety and ideas for gifts to give the family members you barely tolerate. However this space remains largely health/life focused, with the occasional recipe, rant and sappy personal story.

Long story short, I am a writer who is finding herself after many years of just taking care of other people. I started this blog after a particularly bad bout of postpartum depression and have been healed by humor and the community I have found.

Along the way I became somewhat of a proper writer. I am a regular contributor and Mock Mom editor for Sammiches and Psych Meds, and a regular contributor to Moms.com, Mommyish, and Filter Free Parents. I have also had my work featured on Scary Mommy, Romper, McSweeney’s, and The Belladonna Comedy.

What the People Say!

Describing yourself can be such a fucking bore so I outsourced that shit. Besides, the only thing separating a good humblegrag from a GREAT humblebrag is getting it from the mouths of other people.

See what the people have to say!

  • “Eats, Sleeps, and Breathes sarcasm (and occasionally salt); Not a fan of your shenanigans; Really loves her kids- and telling strangers to go fuck themselves”
  • “#Relatable. Sometimes painfully so”
  • “HLFHM is a sweetheart who goes above and beyond to not only provide incredible content, but also lend a helping hand to fellow bloggers”
  • Keeps it real”
  • “Assertively Turbulent!”
  • Adroit, contumacious, and pulchritudinous–Once you start following her, you’ll never be the same again!”
  • “HLFM is what you need in your life. Mandi gives you all the deets you need to lead a healthier lifestyle. Her sass and wit is sure to make you chuckle”
  • “Quirky foodie, funny lady”
  • “You swear a lot. It’s cute!”
  • Fuck you! you are a terrible driver

What Glowing Endorsements! Now Follow Me Everywhere to Avoid the FOMO





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