It’s Virgo Season Motherfuckers!
Yep that’s MY season, AKA my birthday time, AKA lead up to the greatest holiday of them all- HALLOWEEN!
I’m on the fence about the whole astrology thing, but I can say that some of the traits of Virgo suit me to tee. I’m talking the perfectionism, the overthinking, and the compulsive desire for order (although I’m shit at this part TBH).
This Virgo season, I decided to put together a list of gifts for Virgos based on our many LOVEABLE characteristics. If you have a Virgo to shop for, you may wanna get all up in this list for some ideas.
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links, which means that I may receive a small percentage from any purchases at no additional cost to you. This helps fund my farmers market and steeped tea addiction. For more info on affiliate links, click here! Much love!
Perfect Gifts For The Virgo In Your Life
1. This Erin Condren Life Planner, because Virgos are anal AF
If you know a Virgo you know a person who is organized as Hell… That is, unless you know me- a Virgo, who struggles but tries her best. Regardless, this Erin Condren planner will tickle that part of the Virgo’s brain that craves organization and planning. The part that’s perpetually horny for school supplies and the promise of getting shit done.
2. This Sage Kit Set to kick toxic negativity in the taint
Not to brag, but we Virgos are a spiritual bunch who have no tolerance for toxic nonsense of any kind. This sage burning kit is for saging that bullshit the fuck outta your life. If someone so much as looks at you funny, light one of these bundles up and say “BEGONE FUCKER” as loud as you can! Love and light is all I got room in my bag for, pal.
3. This “Wild Unknown” Tarot Set to Tickle Her Artistic Fancy
Look, Virgos are creatives at heart. Even if she isn’t a divination kinda binch, there is no way she won’t be in love with the art on these kinda goth-y and kinda nature-y tarot cards. Although she may be knee-deep in other people’s dirty clothes with no time to create her own art, that doesn’t mean she can’t take the time to appreciate the artistry of others.
4. This Sweary Candle that speaks her love language
Honestly, if there’s one thing Virgos need it’s more self care. We’re pretty loyal and hardworking and shit so we often feel guilt from just chilling. This candle is honest as shit, and also just what we need to light up, relax, and sink into a nice hot bath for a glorious overthinking session.
5. This Set of Coconut Bowls to unleash her inner Moana
Virgo is an earth sign, and as such, your Virgo friend is probably all into that earthy AF eco-conscious shit. This set of coconut bowls is awesome and very Instagrammable, sure to make her feel like a tropical princess in between diaper changes and unloading the dishwasher. I didn’t choose the naturalista life baby, the naturalista life chose me, tee hee.
6. This Indoor Tea Garden Set Because Virgos Need to Chill The Fuck Out
Every Virgo worth her salt is just an old forest hag at heart. Help her collect that vibe from the comfort of home with this set that can help her grow her own herbal tea garden indoors. She will love it and also make you tea, because Virgos are loyal and care about how you’re feeling too. Bless.
7. The Battery Organizer Because Why The Fuck Not
Now, you might be thinking “who in the serial killer fuck would organize batteries like this” and the answer is A VIRGO WOULD. Get this battery organizer because honestly, if she won’t use it to sort batteries, she might use it to store her many grievances.
8. These Validation Medals Because, Bitch I Deserve It
Ok, hear me out. Everyone needs validation, but Virgos need it more. We want all the trophies and medals please.
9. This Beautiful Minimalist Terrarium Set Because We Too, Are Earthy
Virgos are natural plant ladies, they are boho garden bitches and want to have plants and leaves all up in their business at all times. This gorgeous terratium combines their love of neat and tidiness with their love of “OMG PLANTS” for the perfect gift.
10. This “NOT A SEX TOY” Obvious Sex Toy *WINK*
This Amazon listing has about 500 descriptors and none of them say “sex toy” even though it is obviously some sort of high vibe new age yoni-smuggler. If this isn’t for fancy ladies to cart around in their hoo-has, then I’m the Queen of fucking Canada.
They weren’t fooling this one though, who is clearly onto them
Should you get this for the Virgo in your life? I dunno. Do you want to get weird? Are they looking for something that “does good for butt”? Hard to tell. You do you. I honestly just added it because it made me LOL and Virgos are sharers. Namaste!