Marie Claire published an article that has since been deleted claiming that putting parsley in your vagina can help with inducing your period. Additionally, there are many other “wellness” blogs that make this and similar claims (because it’s the Internet baby, and anything goes). Many doctors and gynecologists have come forward saying don’t do this (duh), it doesn’t work (no kidding) and it’s actually dangerous (stahhp).
Many of us won’t even allow glitter in our fucking homes, and yet there was an online retailer selling flavored glitter vaginal capsules. These were marketed for people looking for “sparkly, flavored orgasms” (seriously who are these people?). Doctors say don’t do this (yep), it’s a bad idea (ok) and it could lead to infections and other unpleasantness (gotcha). Reasonable people who have seen the unmitigated havoc that glitter can wreak also agree.
This one got a lot of attention because it was somewhat celebrity-endorsed on Gwenyth Paltrow’s wellness site GOOP, and even everyone’s favorite cool mom friend Chrissy Tiegen did a post about it on her Instagram. Vaginal steaming is said to detox (wut) the vagina and typically is done using “yoni teas” or herbs. Doctors say don’t do this (of course) because your basement doesn’t need a detox (good talk) and exposing your business to hot steam is a really really bad idea (you don’t say).
LONG STORY SHORT
We’re better than this.
When in doubt- just don’t.
The Internet is full of lies.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.